I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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