I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wish my penis had a tongue
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
