it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
