I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
