Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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