I just cut my nipple shaving
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
