is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
