I think scott just propositioned me for sex
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize