She is in my trunk
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
