I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
