This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
