carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
