Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize