Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
