Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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