remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
