I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
