I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize