no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
