Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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