I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
