I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
