He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
