i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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