you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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