Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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