Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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