All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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