How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
