Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
