Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
