Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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