i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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