wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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