She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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