why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
