ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize