I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
