I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
