I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
