if i died would you start the facebook group?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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