so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
