Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
