I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
