I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
