wat bout pragnant strippers??
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
