His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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