He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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