You're so nebulous sometimes
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
