Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
