You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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