Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize