I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
