You're earring is so big in my mouth
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
