it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize