You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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