Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
