this beer tastes like vomit already
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
