Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I have aggressive nipples.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
