idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
