So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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