fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
