suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize