I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
