CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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