You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
