are you so shy because you have an std?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
