I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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