Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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