I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
