somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
