Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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