And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
